dial 1800-LOVE-HELP

our operators will attend to your call shortly.....


Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've
decided to install Love. Can you guide me through
the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready
to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very
technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your
Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other
programs running now. Is it okay to install Love
while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low
Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually
erase Past Hurt from your current operating
system. It may remain in your permanent memory but
it will no
longer disrupt other programs. Love will
eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module
of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you
have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment.
Those programs prevent Love from being properly
installed. Can you turn those off ?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can
you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu
and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as
necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been
completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing
itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have
only the base program. You need to begin
connecting to other Hearts in order to get the
upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already.
It says, "Error - Program not run on external
components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love
program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but
has not yet been run on your Heart. In
non-technical terms, it simply means you have to
Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then
click on the following files: Forgive-Self;
Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart"
directory. The system will overwrite any
conflicting files and begin patching faulty
programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose
Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your
Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and
never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with
new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and
Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all
over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes
awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the
proper time. So Love is installed and running. One
more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be
sure to give it and its various modules to
everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with
others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, GOD