rich aroma.... sweet smelling

large, fast and hard.......... large, fast and hard.........
*sigh* its just a large, fast....... hard disk

Just as I have vowed to myself. I would pwn everyone for CG. And I did. Or at least I gave my best. Tmrw I've got English paper and here I am wasting time, I have never in my life ever studied for English and I don't intend to start now. I'm glad to see that darling dear managed to do the paper without much difficulty... mind you, when I first started to study CG with her, she was not at all enthusiatic to learn about it. Much has changed since that day.

Today I brought my iPod phone to campus. It looks so cool. Sleek and stylish but a bit harder to sms now since the keypad isnt very revealed as last time.
Last night I played X-Men: The Official Game... it roxxors! Although its a ported game (PS2 games that are directly translated for the pc).. the controls arent that tough. Nightcrawler rox big time.

Here I am in my room. In a very bad mood today. With an empty stomach and an empty fuel tank in my ride. Gloomy as ever. Been waiting for mC dear for the past 2hours but its okay, I guess she's busy. I'm just being idle now... nothing to do. Maybe get some shut eye. Tired... I'm exhausted from writing in my exam. Its just another one of those moody days where you feel tak puas but you dont know why.

I have lost my focus. I cant see tmrw as my last day anymore. But tmrw might really be my last. It has to be.... I'm slipping. taking life for granted.... yesterday i read back my blog. I realised certain behaviors I had even before the 22nd. I didnt remember it actually... but since I blogged that I did that, I think it was my inner self trying to knock whats obvious into me its just that I couldnt see. Did I really lived in denial? perhaps.... but at least I'm glad I its very clear now.

Just 5 minutes ago, I looked into the mirror... I saw Jason Slade. He looked at me with such fiery eyes. He can see that I might lose myself again.... actually I don't care. If I lose myself again and I am left to die alone again.... it wont matter anymore. I'm putting everything into this. I love her.... beyond anything I can understand. Love that is so great that I don't even understand what it is. I know why I love... I know it well. I remind myself everyday so that I don't say it without meaning....
everytime i say those words, "i love you".... they are real.

I used to question myself whether I am worthy to be with her. Now it doesnt matter to me anymore..... worthy or not, I will work for it. To prove myself with the more sincerest way possible. Not to be someone else but to be me, purely me... just plain me. Will things go our way? Only time can tell.... all I can say is.... so far God is on our side. =)

Jason out.