my confession...... will destroy me

as I walk past her, I couldnt help but look into her eyes... they tell me everything that I need to know. there is sadness in her eyes.... I want to take away all that sadness and change the world for her.... but she doesnt want me.

this is the last week of college. next week is the finals for the 2nd semester.

sigh...

so many things have happened this past semester. so many in which I dont know what matters to me anymore. I see the same people everyday with the faces that they put on. the image that they want. everyone is not who they really are. i'm just helpless here. naked in the eyes of people. undefended. just naked.... I do not lie. I do not cheat. I'm just.... me

this past week has been a reallly fulfilling week. not only have I handed in ALL my assignments in due time. I certainly did not waste any. on wednesday, believe it or not, i went to melaka for holiday and came back on the same day. it was a crazy plan, yes. I even drove there myself. but hell, if you're as crazy as I am... you'll see that Jason is far more than meets the eye. Yes, Jason is back. He's in a crutches



I just dont know anymore... I cant walk on my own. My legs.... Slade had been there for sometime. I owe him one. Even tho he wasnt there to be permanent. I could let someone who doesnt believe in love take over. But then, I learned to walk again because I learnt what love really is. what it really means to have feelings for someone. to have and to hold... to sacrifise that which matters the most for someone. and to devote time and tought to that someone... i know what love truly is, but i cant explain it now... it's something that you would have to experience it for yourself one day.

Metrosexuals are not gay. I want you to be sure of one thing. As much as you're afraid of being called a metro, you're just living in denial... there is absolutely nothing wrong even if you want to look good. So what if a guy can cook, sew, wash dishes, make gifts, boil soup when you're sick, advise you on what you can do to look good? so WhAT? hUh?

::news flash::
"huibing has the best sense of clothing for a girl in alpha fcm"

if there's one thing i learnt, how one presents himself or herself to everyone around plays a very important role. and she has the best sense of clothing i find. it's just the sweater material like and mature simple cute lil girl look. the turtle necks... the pull overs.. the checkered shirts... the 3quater jeans...man.. whoever tot that a girl could be such sweet and pleasant looking. on the other hand, we have quirong and ooishin who has their own independant sence of fashion. they are not "la la". they set their own fashion style and it looks good. not to my liking but still presentable. I'm still with the simple mature girl look. and the sweater material. i also like all black and all white clothings.. a simple shirt and skirt will do... with heels of course... sneakers are fine but girls, if you plan to wear a skirt, i think heels are a must. seriously....

Nobody knows what's on his mind... they can only assume

"I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there, I'm not supposed to wonder where you are and what to do.. but I'm sorry I can't help myself, I'm really in love with you.."

odd.... it's what i feel now. and the more I think of it, the more I feel less of it. I have to stop thinking... and let it fade on its own. Sometimes, u cant have what you want because it might destroy something else. in other cases... you just cant have it. even looking at my playlists and the CD that i keep in bubbles.. they're all so..... lovey dovey and... eww... *pukes*

I look at myself and I know I have become weak. I'm losing my legs... I dont... i.... I don't exist anymore... jason runs on a fuel called love. And.... I'm.... i.... lets just not get into a confession mood. even tho i clearly know what's on my mind.... my mind is just not mine anymore.